Talk

Talking, we do it all the time right? With friends, teachers, family, even strangers. It's just really strange that we never talk to anyone when we really need to. When our mind is screaming to us desperately, asking to let our thoughts out to someone, anyone, we ignore it, we tell it that we don't need to tell anyone, that we can handle it by ourselves or that talking will not change anything, and might even make it worse. We fear that they will not listen. When thinking about talking to our parents, we assume immediately that they will misunderstand and that you will receive no support. Friends, we assume that once they find out that side to us, once we stop being the person that they can rely on, and instead be the one that requires help, that they will change how they think about us, that they will go from being someone really close to us to someone that is annoyed by our presence.

We assume a lot, especially the feelings of those around us, and it gets us in trouble. The problem is, anyone that lives this way knows it, yet they are unable to stop it. It has become a way of life, being secluded, keeping questions to ourselves, wanting to be independent and solve problems all by ourselves. We believe so deeply that talking to someone about our problems will not help us at all, we fear the slight thought of having to "open up" about our feelings simply because we are afraid to lose our standard, our golden rank, the position that everyone holds within their hearts about us, we fear to lose it, and we stop caring about anything else.

No longer does it matter what we feel, no longer does it matter what torture we put our minds through because we stop caring about it, and for what? I know what it's like to have so many thoughts clogged up in my head, no one to share it with, no one that I wanted to share it with because I truly and profoundly believed that I was better off without the help of others. Unlike most others, who I assume are simply too afraid to put out their feelings, I was merely arrogant. The thought of being reliant on the help of another was not met kindly in my mind, I wanted to walk the path alone, I wanted to succeed without assistance, and I had hope strong enough to melt everything in its path.

It was not enough, I know what it's like, to put the weight of the world on yourself because you think that you owe something to it, to take everything upon yourself because you believe that by doing so, you're helping someone else. I know what you feel, the pressure of everything that you want to take care of and handle by yourself. I want to tell whoever reads this now, that it is not worth it. The more you put on yourself, the more likely that you will solve less of the problems you choose to take up. How do you think the people around you feel when they come to you for help? There are some, yes, but most will be just like you, people that refused to ask for help, that refused to show what they were truly feeling, but simply could not take it anymore. They were there, and they know, that is why they ask you to tell them, that is why, your parents, any time that they ask you if anything is wrong, look like they shoulder the guilt of centuries because they know the feeling and they despise the feeling of you going through it alone.

Imagine how your friends would feel, knowing that this entire time, you felt such emotions and it was hidden to them. You would think that simply for this case,  we are better off not telling anyone. Again we assume that they will start to bring upon themselves great guilt that will ruin your bond, break their trust, but it does not have to be so. Yes, they will feel guilt, disappointment towards themselves for not knowing earlier, or perhaps, knowing but being unable to do anything about it, but soon enough they will be happy, they will grow even closer to you because by revealing your deepest emotions, you have built an emotional tie that is closer than one with lies and deception, one that is true. They will love you more for trusting them enough to be open about your feelings.

Finally, you will be free. It is like somebody finally opening a door to a miniature house that you have been trapped in your entire life. The weight of worlds will be released from your shoulder and you will breathe again, breathe a burst a fresh air that you have missed for so long, you will smile...wholeheartedly, you will smile widely, happy and jovial, looking at your friends and family once again with sparkling eyes, no longer clouded by your own thoughts.

It is not easy, I am not asking you all to immediately be able to release your feelings, but attempt. Try and show yourself to those close to you, and maybe you will even find something about them that you may have missed all this time.

Thank you for reading, have a great day, and stay strong...